I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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