I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize