Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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