You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
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She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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