I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
