my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So squirting runs in the family.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
