It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
