apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
