We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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