I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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