I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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