What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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