When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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