i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
