Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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