Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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