I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
