umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
