his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
bring money and cleavage
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
