apparently the secret to your success is patron
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
