Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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