You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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