Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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