They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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