where am i from again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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