you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I understand Curling. That high.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
