i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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