I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize