nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
