i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
