I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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