Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.

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  (514): take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk. http://tfl.nu/mcib
  Replies (47) Good night (9867) Bad night (1110) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again

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  (318): her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again http://tfl.nu/8jzt
  Replies (16) Good night (4527) Bad night (1311) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd

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  (905): I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd http://tfl.nu/je1e
  Replies (6) Good night (921) Bad night (1964) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level

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  (908): I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level http://tfl.nu/uegr
  Replies (11) Good night (5238) Bad night (1175) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.

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  (757): We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/rh0l
  Replies (5) Good night (2250) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.

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  (519): he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today. http://tfl.nu/4qok
  Replies (4) Good night (3145) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?

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  (713): do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister? http://tfl.nu/m4fg
  Replies (5) Good night (2005) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.

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  (434): This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened. http://tfl.nu/f3s1
  Replies (4) Good night (2165) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something

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  (831): i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something http://tfl.nu/b053
  Replies (10) Good night (1488) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people

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  (402): You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people http://tfl.nu/4rzl
  Replies (8) Good night (1724) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.

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  (304): All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time. http://tfl.nu/z2dh
  Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (275) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.

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  (310): My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick. http://tfl.nu/xvdr
  Replies (9) Good night (1627) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

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  (706): See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working http://tfl.nu/fcot
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (198)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator

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  (507): I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator http://tfl.nu/y7bc
  Replies (4) Good night (1327) Bad night (342) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?

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  (561): Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun? http://tfl.nu/syxe
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (156) Order T-Shirt

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