could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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