I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
