a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
