nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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