He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
