Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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