you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
how drunk are you?
Several
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
