Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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