3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
