her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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