I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
what the fuck happened to the tacos
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize