Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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