Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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