When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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