It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
