My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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