Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
