Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Randomize
