The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
