Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just want nice things and good sex
They are going to name an STD after you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
