During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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