I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i've created a new STD.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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