I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
