At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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