"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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