haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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