college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sorry about my life...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
