Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
