i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
