Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
