So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
