Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
