Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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