margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
