You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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