sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
