I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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